Steph - Actress 演員
它的存在提醒著我要過一個履行我個人人生價值觀的生活。
It is a reminder for myself to live a life honoring my values.
這枚鍍金銀戒指是我在2020年8月15號到Obellery的工作坊親手打造出來的，到2022的今天為止，我每一天都會戴著它，因為它提醒著我要記住對我自己許下的承諾，要給自己創造一個充實的生活。
I made this gold-plated silver ring at Obellery's silver ring workshop on August 15, 2020, I have been wearing it every day ever since, as a reminder of the promise I made to create myself a fulfilling life.
PHOTOGRAPHY: STEPHENIE KAY
為什麼我會突然給自己立下這樣的承諾呢？其實是來自我一次的深思，那個時候我都已經20多歲了卻還沒有談過一次戀愛，每一年我都會為“我有什麼問題嗎？”、“我會永遠孤獨嗎？”、“為什麼就沒有持續超過幾週的約會關係呢？”之類的問題苦苦掙扎，這令我開始在反思尋找自己不快樂的根本來源。我意識到原來婚姻等於幸福、等於生活的最終成功、等於你可被愛的證明和成年的標誌等等的想法已經被我內化了，這種想法不僅是錯誤的，更是我們社會經常用來針對特定年齡以上的單身女性。
既然不能確定我是否將會有一段關係或婚姻，我就決定了不再等著人來選擇我後才開始我的生活，快樂是我應得的，而且不需要等一個人給我戴上戒指，我現在就可以得到快樂，我自己就可以創造一個作為單身女性引以為豪的生活。這也是我想要親手打造這枚戒指的初衷，它象徵著我渴望過一個活力四射的生活，我想要開始為了我自己而活。無疑我仍然希望在未來可以找到靈魂夥伴並最後和他結婚，但我並不會忘記就算現在這一刻我是一個人我還是可以過一個快樂充實的人生。寄望著我的人生意願，這枚戒指幾乎已經是我身體的一部分，沒有它我會覺得很奇怪，好像缺點什麼一樣。
I am in my late-20s and I have never been in a relationship. With each passing year, I struggled with questions such as "Is there something wrong with me?", "Will I be alone forever?", "Why is it that no dating interaction lasts longer than a few weeks?" I began reflecting on the root cause of my unhappiness. I have come to realise that I have internalised the message that marriage equals happiness/life's ultimate success/proof of your lovability/the mark of being a grown adult. This message is not only false but constantly targeted at single women over a certain age.
Not knowing if a relationship or marriage will ever be in the cards for me, I decided that I am not going to wait for my life to start when someone chooses me; I deserve to be happy and I can be happy right now instead of waiting for someone to put a ring on me. I can choose myself and create a life that I am proud of as a single woman. This ring is significant to me because I made it myself, symbolising my desire to live a life of creativity and to make things happen for myself. While I still desire long-term partnership and eventually marriage, I am reminded of the truth that I can be happy and fulfilled in the meantime. Now, it's almost become a part of my body. It feels like I am missing something if I don't wear it.
