TC

依稀記得那是一片鑲嵌了月亮石、海藍寶和另一種藍色礦物的銀製吊墜，是我當年送給母親的禮物，現在已伴隨著她火化了。
死亡對我來說重來不是遙遠的事，自從母親在我十二歲左右被診斷患上癌症，我就被迫與它正眼對望，來來回回十多年的治療、痊愈再復發至崩壞都軀使我思考和實行重要的事。

不論你意識與否，時間也正急速地流逝著，它似是一種詛咒也似是一種祝福；不讓你萬無目的地探索。不論是看似如何艱鉅或浮華盛世的人和事，在時間面前轉眼也幻化成鏡花水月。此刻我慶幸它讓我表達盡了不會令自己後悔的事，此吊墜亦屬其一。吊墜故然會讓我想到和她的點滴，但更重要的是它象徵了我活著的座右銘，在有限的時間裡盡活出想要的，不要拘泥太多的社會枷鎖盡情地去表達和愛；同時要擁抱所經歷的各種痛與苦、樂與怒；因為他朝這些各種會成為你的點滴和養份，為你描繪出更完滿更具層次的生命作品。

寫到這裡彷彿重燃起了我內在一些快將忘掉的無名情懷，就如重遇那多年未有再聚，快將忘掉的摯友，感恩。

It was a pendant I have purchased online in my early 20s for my mother. I vaguely remember it consisted of moonstone, aquamarine and another type of blue minerals mounted on sterling silver. The piece is no longer with me as it was cremated along with her. Unlike most, death has never been a sudden surprise for me. It has been a clear concept that I had to tackle with since early teens when my mother was diagnosed with cancer. It had since then been a lengthy ten plus years of back and forth.

Time ticks regardless of whether we are aware of it or not. It just so happened that it “ticked louder” for me. I was forced to recognise the finite nature of things. Though cliche, everything has its time and eventually perishes, no matter how grandiose or arduous it might seem at one point. I’m lucky to have been given a plentiful of opportunities to express my gratitude and love, this pendant being one of them. Which now seems like a blessing. The pendant for sure recorded all the peaks and valleys of my time along with her, but most important of all, it has symbolised a sort of motto I aspire in life. That is to do and say the right things you love when there is still time, and to embrace all the pain and joy that comes along, together they paint a complete picture of your story.

Now that I think of it as I write, something in me seems to have sparked. It is as if meeting an old dear friend again that you have almost forgotten. And I thank this opportunity for that.